Identify types of Domestic Abuse
Are you concerned you’re being abused, or someone you love is?
The following information is a guide to help you identify the different types of abuse
If you're in immediate danger call 999
Information for Survivors
If you answer 'YES' to any of the following questions, then its very possible that you are in an abusive relationship. This also applies if you have previously experienced any of the below:
Are you afraid of your partner/family member?
Do they look through your phone?
Does anyone make you stop seeing or speaking to your friends or family?
Do you feel very low the majority of the time?
Do they get angry if you don't answer your calls or texts straight away?
Or do they hound you until you do answer?
Did they tell you that they loved you very early on in the relationship and pushed any boundaries that you had?
Do they constantly get angry if you have interactions with strangers and accuse you of cheating or 'fancying' them?
Do they accuse you of behaviour that you didn't do?
Do they get angry easily and demonstrate this with physical actions?
Do they blame you for their actions?
Do they make you feel sorry for them due to their childhood or past relationships?
Are they dependant on drugs or alcohol?
Do they make fun of you and then tell you its just 'banter'?
Do you constantly feel the need to apologise to keep the peace?
Are you allowed to make decisions?
Do they criticise your decisions?
Do they say they will kill themselves if you leave?
Do they control or monitor your finances?
Do you change your behaviours or responses to please them?
You are not alone. Recognise the signs.
Gaslighting techniques to be aware of:
- Withholding: When they refuse to engage in conversation about their thoughts and emotions.
- Countering: Convinces you that you've misremembered a situation.
- Blocking & Diverting: They will change the topic of conversation often by saying something that will hurt or shock you as a way of distraction.
- Trivialising: They will minimise and dismiss your thoughts or feelings.
- Forgetting & Denial: They "forget" or deny that conversations or situations have taken place.
- Perception Blaming: They will twist the story so its never their fault.
Cycle of Coercion
Methods used to gain and maintain power and control:
- Isolation: increasing your dependency on them by restricting you from people and finances and cutting you off from support.
- Enforcing 'Trivial' Demands: They will demand things from you and include a consequence if not carried out specifically.
- Degradation/Humiliation: creates feelings of shame and guilt and told its your fault and you've caused whats happening.
- Threats: A way to keep power and control in order to keep you compliant.
- Displays of Total Power: demonstrations of who definitively has power in the relationship and will remind you often.
- Exhaustion: Keeping you physically and emotionally exhausted effecting your cognitive functions to make you easier to control.
- Occasional Indulgences: Give you a treat as a way of an apology to keep you invested in the relationship.
- Distorted Perspectives: continuous commentary to justify and excuse their behaviour and lays blame on you.
Under Clare's Law you can:
- Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you.
- Request information about the current or ex-partner of a friend or relative because you're worried they might be at risk.
There are also other legal options available to you if required.
We’re Here to Help You Take the First Step
Reach out today and we will be here to support you every step of the way.