TYPES OF ABUSE
Domestic abuse isn't always physical
Other types of abues can include:
Coercive Control
A pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control
Stalking and Harassment
Following, constant messaging or turning up uninvited
Emotional or Psychological Abuse
Such as belittling, gaslighting, isolation, threats or humiliation
Sexual Abuse
Forcing or coercing sexual activity without consent
Financial or Economic Abuse
Controlling finances, taking money, or preventing someone from earning their own money
Digital or Online Abuse
Monitoring devices, sending threatening messages, or sharing private content without consent
Physical Abuse
Hitting, slapping, kicking, choking or using weapons
Honor-Based Abuse
A crime or incident committed to protect or defend the 'honour' of a family or community
Spiritual Abuse
Manipulation and coercion of another person using religious or spiritual beliefs, texts, or practices
COMMON RED FLAGS
Trust Your Instincts
If something feels wrong, it probably is. You don’t have to justify your fear or confusion, your safety and wellbeing matter. Abuse can be subtle and hidden from others, but you deserve support and a life free from domestic abuse. At The First Step, we’re here to listen when you’re ready.
Long Term Effects
The impact of abuse can last a long time, and for some, the effects may never fully fade. Survivors may face challenges with mental health, coping, or past trauma. But you are not alone, and with the right support, healing and a brighter future are possible.
At The First Step, we believe that recovery doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, it means rebuilding your life with dignity, strength and support. Whether you’re just beginning to make sense of your experience or actively working towards healing, you deserve to be safe, heard and empowered.
WHY PEOPLE STAY
One of the most misunderstood aspects of domestic abuse is why someone might stay in an abusive relationship. The reality is that leaving is often incredibly complex and can be dangerous. Survivors frequently face not just practical and safety barriers, but psychological ones as well. Over time, an abuser may repeatedly instill fear about the consequences of leaving, creating self-doubt, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness. Many people also experience an escalation of abuse at the point of separation, which reinforces these fears and makes the decision to leave even harder.
Others stay because they’ve been isolated from friends and family, have no access to money or housing, or are worried about their children’s wellbeing. Some still love their partner and hope the abuse will stop. Many survivors have been manipulated into believing the abuse is their fault, or that no one else will believe or help them.
Cultural, religious, or community pressures can also make leaving feel impossible. It’s important to understand that staying doesn’t mean someone wants to be abused. It means they are doing what they can to survive.
At The First Step, we never judge.
We listen, support, and help people find the safest path forward when they’re ready.
IS THIS HAPPENING TO YOU?
We have compiled some questions below to help you identify some abusive behaviours. If you answer ‘YES’ to any of the following questions, it is very possible that you’re in some form of abusive relationship.
We are here to help you take The First Step to a life free from domestic abuse.
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Do you change your behaviours or responses to please them?
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Do they blame you for their actions?
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Do you agree to sex even if you don't want it to keep the peace?
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Do they threaten to be unfaithful if you don't comply with their needs?
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Do you have full control over your own money?
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Do they control your finances?
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Do you avoid your friends and family to prevent conflict with your abuser?
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Do they say they will hurt or kill themselves if you leave?
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Do you get bombarded with calls/texts especially if you don't respond?
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Do they check your phone, emails, or social media without your permission?
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Do you receive unwanted gifts, letters, or messages after telling them to stop?
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Do they turn up unannounced to your work/home or always seem the be in the same place as you?
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Do you cover any physical injuries or bruising from others?
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Do they get angry easily and demonstrate this with physical actions?
What do my answers mean?
If you recognised your experience in any of these statements, you are not alone. Abuse can be subtle, and many people question or doubt themselves for a long time before reaching out. You don’t have to wait, take the first step. We are here to listen and support you confidentially and without judgement.
These are just some of the questions you can ask yourself to better understand their behaviour or recognise the red flags.
For more information, download our helpful Spot the Signs guide.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
If you're experiencing abuse, or even just starting to wonder if something isn’t right, know this, you are not alone, and it is not your fault. There is help, there is hope, and there are steps you can take, at your own pace, in your own way.
The first and often hardest step is reaching out. Whether you want to talk, ask questions, or just feel heard, The First Step is here for you. You don’t need to be in crisis to contact us—we support people at every stage of their journey. When you get in touch, you’ll speak with someone who understands the complexity of abuse and will listen without judgement. We’ll never pressure you to do anything you’re not ready for. We’ll simply help you explore your options in a safe, confidential way.
HELP FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
If someone you care about is experiencing domestic abuse, it can be heartbreaking and confusing to know how best to help. You might feel powerless, scared of saying the wrong thing, or unsure when—or how—to intervene. The truth is, your support can be incredibly powerful. Listening without judgement, staying calm, and reminding them they’re not alone can make a life-changing difference. Avoid criticising the abuser directly or pressuring the person you care about to leave before they’re ready, this could increase their risk or push them away.
Instead, focus on offering a safe, steady presence: someone who will listen, believe them, and be there whenever they’re ready. Ensure you are careful with communications that could be monitored. Remember, you don’t have to fix everything—just being there can be enough. The First Step is here to help you understand what to do, how to do it safely, and how to look after your own wellbeing too.
Download our free guide for friends and family.
Advice, safety tips, and emotional support for those who want to help but don’t know where to begin.
LEGAL AND HOUSING INFORMATION
Understanding your rights can feel overwhelming, especially while living with or recovering from abuse. But you don’t have to face it alone. Whether you're thinking about leaving, worried about your safety, or trying to rebuild your life, knowing what legal protections and housing options are available can help you make informed, empowered decisions.
Your Legal Rights and Protection Orders
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, we can support you in understanding your options within the criminal and family law systems. Several legal protections are available to help keep you safe.
Family Law
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Non-Molestation Orders
These are court orders designed to protect you and your children from harassment, threats, or violence. They can also prevent the abuser from coming near your home or workplace.
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Prohibited Steps Order
Prevents a person with parental responsibility from taking specific actions regarding a child's upbringing, examples of this can include: removing them from the country or a school place setting.
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Child Arrangement Order
This is a court order that determines where a child lives, who they spend time with, and when.
Civil Orders
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Occupation Orders
These can determine who has the right to stay in the family home, even if both names are on the tenancy or mortgage. In some cases, they can legally remove the abuser from the property.
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Stalking Protection Orders
These are applied for by Police, and protect victims before a criminal conviction in relation to identified stalking behaviours.
Criminal
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Restraining Orders
These may be issued following a criminal conviction. They offer protection from ongoing stalking, harassment, or intimidation.
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Domestic Violence Protection Order
These can prevent the perpetrator from returning to a residence and from having contact with the victim for up to 28 days.
Our team at The First Step can help connect you with legal advice and specialist solicitors.
Legal aid may also be available.
Clare's Law
Under Clare’s Law, you have the right to:
- Make an application to the police requesting information about your current or ex-partner, because you are worried they may have been abusive in the past and believe they may pose a risk to you in future.
- Request information from the police about the current or ex-partner of a close friend, neighbour or family member, because you are concerned that they might be at risk of domestic abuse in future.
This is called the ‘right to ask.’ You have a right to ask the police no matter if your enquiry relates to a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, as long as you are aged 16 or older. You also have the right to ask about a partner regardless of your (or your neighbour, friend or family member’s) gender identity, ethnicity, race, religion or other characteristics.
You also have the ‘right to know’. This means that if police checks show that your current or ex-partner has a record of violent or abusive behaviour, and they believe you may be at risk, they may decide to proactively share that information with you. If you’re worried that your current or former partner has been abusive or violent in the past, Clare’s Law was created to formally give you the right to find out.
To apply for a Clare’s Law you can ring 101 or apply online on the Merseyside Police Website here.
EMERGENCY HELP
Get Support Now
If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, please know: you are not alone, and support is available right now. This section explains how to get emergency help safely and quickly, whether you are able to speak on the phone or not.
Call 999 – In an Emergency
If you or someone else is in danger, call 999 immediately. You do not have to be physically injured to get help.
- If you can speak:
- Stay calm and clearly say your name, location, and that you need police assistance for domestic abuse.
- If you cannot speak:
- Call 999, then press 55 when prompted.
- Your call will be transferred to a police call handler trained to assist silently.
- Do not hang up – even if you can’t speak, the call handler may still be able to trace your location.
This is known as the Silent Solution.
Text the Police – For Deaf or Hard of Hearing People
You can also text 999 in an emergency, but you must register your mobile phone first:
- Text the word REGISTER to 999
- Follow the instructions in the reply to complete your registration
Once registered, you can send a text message to 999 when you need help. Include what service you need (police), your location, and what is happening.
Safe Places to Go
If you need to leave immediately, try to go somewhere safe:
- A trusted friend or family member’s house
- A nearby shop, supermarket, pharmacy, or GP surgery
If You’re Preparing to Leave
If you are planning to leave an abusive situation, if say to do so, consider:
- Packing an emergency bag with ID, medication, keys, phone charger, and important documents
- Keeping emergency numbers written down
- Turning off location sharing on your phone or apps
- Reaching out to a service like The First Step or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for help planning your exit safely.
National Domestic Abuse 24-Hour Helpline
Need advice or urgent emotional support? You can call The National Domestic Abuse Helpline on
📞 0808 2000 247
💬 Live Chat: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
Everything you tell us is confidential and non-judgemental. We’ll listen, help you explore your options, and support you to stay as safe as possible.
You Are Not Alone
Even when things feel terrifying or impossible, help is here. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, but when you are, we’ll take that first step with you.
We’re Here to Help You Take the First Step
Reach out today and we will be here to support you every step of the way.